Some days I miss dating Brian. I miss the thrill of the first date, first kiss, laughing together as we get to know each other’s quirks and personalities. There is just something so exhilarating and novel about those first dates. But my perspective has suddenly changed. This morning, I was reading an article in GQ Magazine–I know, I know, not exactly the quintessence of acumen, but I happened to really like this article.

It was written as if to be a “Marriage 101: What You Need to Know” crash course for guys. It listed 35 different points—clarifications–for what to expect after “I Do”. Some were obvious observations, others were astoundingly accurate, while some I have yet to encounter (with my endless experience and knowledge ten months in—haha!). One however, caught my eye and rang very true.

While many people view getting married as committing to one person and having a static relationship for the rest of your life; marriage is, in fact, a dynamic, ever-changing bond between two people. The essence of marriage is continuous rediscovery. Rediscovery about the person I fell in love with, as he changes and evolves with time and circumstances; rediscovery about myself, because marriage does transform me, as well. Five, ten, fifty years after the ceremony, both of us will have changed and grown together. We will have learned to compromise and learned to consider that other person before ourselves; we will have lived life as partners. Shared laughter, tears, frustrations and celebrations. We know, and will continue to discover that our marriage requires work, patience, commitment, and love. And through the years, and with the circumstances we find ourselves in, we will change.


I can see it already. Though I am quite familiar with Brian’s college anecdotes and his favorite color, dessert, ideal vacation, etc.; I am constantly discovering and rediscovering what makes him tick. How he reacts in certain circumstances, what makes him feel loved. His vision for our future; his hopes and dreams. No, it is not like our first date. I know his basic stats, I know most everything about his past. But I am constantly discovering more about his heart.  And we, as a team, are discovering our future together which, to me, is priceless.


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